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Bathroom salesman Matt is at a crossroads. He has lost his job, he is about to be made homeless and his girlfriend has left him.

He wants his luck to change and he wants things to go back to how they were. Out of the blue he is offered a job that comes with a free luxury apartment. He hopes this might be enough to tempt her back.

But, as events unfold, it starts to dawn on him that perhaps she didn’t leave of her own accord after all…?

‘As a comedian, Bob Mortimer spins a shaggy-dog story like nobody else’ The Guardian

‘The much loved comic proves adept at noirish fiction in a debut whose surrealist humour sets it apart’ – Observer

‘Mortimer’s verbal specificity and off-kilter humour will keep his fans chuckling’ The Times

‘There is a sweetness to his worldview that makes his writing gently poignant… Like Spike Milligan, the only vintage comic whose fiction is still read, Mortimer has managed to use a novel as a vehicle for his distinctive comedic voice’ The Telegraph

“With a long shoe you can poke about in the darkest crannies” Eric Mozzarella